As reported earlier today, there was a shooting early Sunday morning at the greasy, yet cheap, Chicago Phil's pizza joint. While the details are a touch shady, it would seem the local gangster Transcona Tony has had it up to the anchovies with Chicago Phil.
Formerly, Chicago Phil and Transcona Tony were known to be amicable, if not downright friendly with one another. This was, of course, before Chicago Phil started using Mennonite Mozzarella instead of the Saputo brand cheese topping. This change in supplier has created an apparently unbridgable impasse between the two local wanna be mobsters. Word on the street says Tony sent a shooter over to end business with Phil...in true Chicago style...unlike the crappy pizzas being flung by Phil himself. One shot was fired in this brazen act of Sicilian stupidity and concerned Downtownites fear this could trigger a Winnipeg cheese war.
While ambulances were on the scene, it would seem the only victim in this incident is Downtown Stan, who wandered around the police tape for 3 hours mumbling, "I just wanna get some pizza."
So there you have it, the truths as uncovered by the intrepid DSC crew. Some other bystander said, "It was a robbery. Two guys went in and fired a wildshot to get the owner to just cough up the cash...and they did. The perps then ran towards Assiniboine." While interesting, we at the DSC know something that mundane would never be true. This is Donald Street after all.
DSC News Bulletin Services