“ I’m generally a good person.”
“ I am a hard worker.”
“ I enjoy family time.”
Most people define themselves by what they do in society, or the role they play in life. Some individuals can have a hard time grasping the sense of self within this dynamic of outward factors and material definitions. That’s what friends are for. Real Friends. Those that understand you and are prepared; for better or worse, to hit you with a metaphorical mind bat and protect you with the same meta-bat.
We all have acquaintances and most have some sort of actual friend or friends. Acquaintances are those masks and card board cut-outs you associate with at work or other mundane aspects of living. “Hi, how are you?” reply, “Great! You?” Typical hollow bullshit. You really know nothing of the person and if they quit, got fired or died, you could care less, except to pretend to be interested within the work place gossip circles or bullshit exchange of feigned sincerity. These are not real friends. These people are like most family dynamics….They generally would never function together outside of the environment they are forced to participate in. These people do nothing to help you as an individual; they are merely group think copies of what an “employee” should be. You may benefit in this false world of importance within the workplace, but the folks you see at work are there for one thing only, themselves, despite all the rhetoric and surface empathy.
Work is not for self enlightenment and/or introspection. One may feel fulfilled by certain aspects of work but in the end you are working for someone else, or self employed with the illusion of independence (but in reality, still fully dependant on economic/social situations outside your control). No matter how much you “love” your job, it is still the grind. The grind is all about running you through the economic gauntlets of our society and squeezing out a piece of your essence. If you want self awareness gained through interactions at work, you be’s barking up the wrong tree. That’s what Real Friends are for.
What is a Real Friend? A Real Friend is someone who knows you and understands you...and they like you, to some degree. They care about your situation and your well being deeper than a fleeting thought. They connect with you. These are incredible resources on so many levels. Real Friends can be gained through common experiences or long histories together. These are the ones you can unwind with, talk to about everything and share in laughs, tears or observances. Not everyone has friends like this. Some people shape their outside work friends in the same way that they interact with work “friends”. In other words, fake ass mother fuckers. Believe me, there are many, many fakes out there and they all have the qualities they do because of insecurities of the self. They wish to maintain a manageable surface relationship with people for fear of going deeper, not only into others but themselves. These are unrealized people that hide from what it is to be self aware. Fear or self doubt are common feelings these types confront, even if they are not self aware enough to realize it! Real Friends can really help a person understand who they are and more importantly, who they can be. The way we perceive ourselves and they way others perceive us are usually very different sights. We may have the best intention in mind only to be seen by others as a jerk, douche or insensitive ass. Friends can help you see this other side to who you are. Friends are a mirror to you own inner workings. This precious relationship between yourself and a person that can at least understand you can be tapped into for profound benefits for all involved.
It is hard to have someone you trust or respect tell you that an aspect of your personality is problematic and a situation that needs to be confronted…but who else? Who else can get into your head and help you unravel the mysteries of your own mind but a Real Friend. They already know about your issues! You may think you can hide your dirty little secrets but, true friends know. You are only fooling yourself and denying yourself the barrier free interaction you can have with a Real Friend. The insights gained when the walls are broken down can help both of you grow and discover yourselves. This should be of concern to everyone who interacts with others. Some feel they do not want to “look within”. That is fear talking. You cannot know anyone, anything, any such, if you live in a confused maze of your mind. The mind deciphers the riddles of life and if your mind is a tangled mess of insecurities and self doubts, it will skew all your perceptions that filter through your mind. The challenge each person shares is the struggle to understand the self. No one else can do this for you, but you can get help. Real Friends can help decode the confusion and explore your inner issues, and if your “friends” tell you this is a burden or stressor on them, it’s probably time to put the efforts into new friends. Why continue bullshit relationships to pacify the little scared child in your head. Trust yourself and your friends; you will be rewarded with a communicative and deeper relationship.. Be open to your Real Friends and in turn to yourself. It does take effort on everyone’s part and this is vital to the exchanges between friends. While certain challenges arise from this such as emotional upheavals and nervous revelations, believe in yourself and what you can achieve....with a lil’ bit of help from your Real Friends.