Unlucky: Whose kids are those? Have you actually seen what children do to tadpoles and frogs? Look, the world is getting worse over time, not better. It is time we held those little fuckers responsible for something.
Lucky: The Canadian beaver is our national symbol. Its soooo cute!
Unlucky: That buck-toothed giant rat has served as a model of laborious productivity and subservience for too long. Like the beaver, we mark our territory, put up fences, hoard our possessions, and work endlessly to keep it all. Try this for a model: the Cicada. We writhe in the ground for a while, climb up a tree, breed, then die. Done.
Lucky: Love is unconditional.
Unlucky: Say again? Love is highly conditional, you Moron! Try not taking out the garbage after being asked to do so. Have an argument with a neighbour at a dinner party; see how your wife loves you then. Try loving your kid after he just smashed your ’66 Mustang. Try loving your wife after she fucked your best friend. Dickweed!
Lucky: The Prime Minister wants what is best for Canadians.
Unlucky: Do I really need to respond!?
Lucky: Music soothes the soul.
Unlucky: Megadeath, Motorhead, Anthrax, Slayer and Metallica. Soothing, indeed.
Lucky: Canadians love their Royals
Unlucky: The sooner that Imperialist is removed from our money, her portraits are out of our gathering halls and her baggage is out of our Parliament, the sooner we can move towards being a proper republic. “I am Lucky and I embrace the vestiges of a decaying and exploitative tradition that costs Canadians millions of dollars annually.” Monarchist dork.
Lucky: Find beauty in the simple things.
Unlucky: A decaying and festering turd is a simple thing. Look Lucky, you’re simple And ugly. Explain that.
Lucky: The CBC is our national voice.
Unlucky: You disgust me. The CBC is the vehicle for state approved, Protestant, educated, white visions of the Canadian experience. Tame and Polite. Y’know, like the world sees us. Hoser wannabe!