You may have heard about the brazen shooting near the intersection of Graham and Carlton Thursday night, but what you haven't heard are the facts behind the craziness...and sheesh...is it ever crazy!
It would seem that a love struck patron of the Shark Club just wanted to give a gift to his favourite waitress. Little did he know that, as with all servers at the Shark Club, she was in actuality an Automated Female Server Killing Unit (better known as AFSKU). As the Cyborg finished its shift and went to its vehicle, the romantic Shark Club regular approached "her" to give it a flower. Unfortunately, the AFSKU computed this parking lot visit as a threat and reacted defensively (as depicted below in Artist's interpretation). Police stated this happens more than they would like to admit and warn patrons of all downtown eateries and bars to refrain from foolishly thinking servers have any emotions,feelings or loving inclinations...regardless of how much you tip them. The AFSKU was released when police determined it was, "...just doing its job."