You may have found your way here via the Winnipeg Free Press’ “Blog of the Week.” If so, you would have read a recent posting by Herr Doktor in his Woodlot series (the earlier Woodlot posts can be found here ). Find out a bit about the regular contributors here or use the categories section on the right . See the already classic 100th post by the DSC here! Now, with over 100 posts since the blog began about one month ago, we have a wide variety of topics and content. For example, at the Donald Street Collective you can find (among other things):
Thanks for stopping by! The DSC News Bulletin Services gave you the scoop on a fire that was raging on the 22nd Floor of 134 Smith Street and now, as always, we follow up with some highly speculative conjectures that are whispered on the street...and remember you heard it here, at the DSC first!
While firefighters were able to contain the fire in the room where it started, there was severe smoke, heat and water damage to the suite itself and the apartment under it. Once again, it would seem that unattended cigarette droppings were the root cause. Unlike a recent recycle bin fire that caused a car to explode on Donald Street, this inferno was caused by a resident. Word on the curb says, a tired, hard working man, engaged in a prolonged masturbation session, felt the need to light up a smoke and, unsurprisingly, then passed out due to exhaustion. The lit cigarette apparently ignited some paper towels and old porno mags that were strewn about the bedroom of the suite. The culprit escaped with only minor burns but sadly, he lost his entire mid-80's vintage SWANK collection to the blaze. DSC News Bulletin Services (Continued from HERE) Readers, I apologize for my silence regarding certain matters of protocol and bureaucracy with respect to the DSC. I have yet to respond to the DSC Sub-Committee preliminary findings but I have been advised to withhold comments until the investigation is complete. Further, I have not responded to the motions carried at the DSC meeting posted on April 23 of this year. I intend to but there are other things on my mind. I am distracted these days and I shall now explain. You see folks, it’s movie trailers that concern me; not my license suspension or the politics of the DSC. The summer blockbusters are no longer on the horizon. They are now moving quickly through the middle ground. Are you awash in anticipation? Can you feel the earth-shaking momentum? Do you find yourself short of breath, teary eyed, and overwhelmed by the enormity of these coming events? It is enough to make your softer bits tingle. If you can’t relate you can’t have seen the trailers. My issue is not with the movies themselves, some of which I will eventually watch. It is their ad campaigns which give me moment to pause. I will write some other day about sensitive human dramas and quirky independent comedy trailers; that ground, too, is rich and fruitful. Blockbuster trailers are the movies in miniature. Marketing budgets for these projects can well exceed 30 million dollars, easily and frequently. It takes a lot of labour to compress the movie down to two or three minutes and encapsulate its key moments and ethos. More difficult now given that these “Big” movies often exceed the two hour mark. I blame the long-winded New Zealander who, at one time, I respected. That, however, is a lament for another day. The action and drama is always larger than life in these condensed versions. The trailer is massively heroic and operatic in proportion; more so than Wagner’s Ring Cycle. In fact, opera is a mere a pop song in comparison to these mega-spectacles. In a further assault to the senses, the actors speak in thick raspy whispers. These are the voices of authenticity confidently bearing witness. Are these the last words ever to be spoken, the last words, which we, the viewers, will ever hear again? They just might be. You think classical music or opera is dead? Well, you’re dead wrong. It has merely changed venues. Choirs of a hundred voices, full symphony orchestras, and swells, no, tidal waves, of deeply emotive sound carry the images further. (Wagner and Mahler themselves would be overwhelmed.) We can’t help but be passive. We are being assaulted on all fronts. “You will watch. You will be moved and you will purchase a ticket.” It can be intimidating. If I have seen a trailer, I often resist the urge to watch the movie because I believe I have just seen all there is to see. As these promotions are similar in manner and form, they create a wall of noise that is so awesome in scope and volume that I am absolutely numbed. They cancel each other out and I am unable to discern the individual works. It’s hyper white noise and I am muted and humbled in its presence. These trailers would not be made if they were ineffective. They connect with people and tickets are sold. However, there is not necessarily a direct relationship between marketing campaigns and a successful movie. There are plenty of examples afloat in the electronic void. Viewers and reviewers still have enough power to affect these commercial enterprises but that is an unfathomable thought when absorbed in the moment. So, spend your money, enjoy the shows and watch these epics unfold during the coming summer. As for me, I am left trembling in the corner, for now. Herr Doktor This interesting building across from the Garrick is fairly unmodified and has some genuine old school rot. There are various characters inhabiting the semi-decrepit building , with some businesses on the 1st floor and gig areas in the basement. This building actually has two street facing entrances/exits; 333 Garry St. and 224 Notre Dame. Seems the owners wanna just sell it for development and there is ZERO upkeep going on here. Right by the gutted out St. Charles, this building is sure to be either bulldozed or completely renovated. We'll see. A blast from the past and an intrepid Urban Explorer brings you the pics! (If interested, a historical blog about the Argyle is HERE) (previous Cyberspace Artifact HERE) From the Director of Operations Good morning team I trust that you are all well and managing to stay productive. Thank-you for your continued efforts as we move ever closer to our year-end targets. At our current rate of production we could very well exceed the goal by end of the third quarter! Nicely done, people. Unfortunately, this memo does not bring pleasing news. I must again discuss the state of the third floor women’s washroom. Last Thursday I received formal written complaints from both Scrub It! (our cleaning contractors) and the building owners. I am disgusted and quite ashamed. This is the third time in the last two quarters that fecal matter has been strewn about the floor, paper towels moistened and scattered, and urine found on the carpet just outside the door. This affront to our senses and the safe workplace will not continue. We are now taking formal action. Head Office has asked me to work closely with Human Resources to conduct an investigation and deliver a series of seminars on public hygiene. Please consider these seminars mandatory for all employees. As renters and as employees, our behaviours and manners should be representative of the Company. That is how we are judged. At all times you must think of our Brand. Maintaining a professional demeanor is an expectation of employment. You are required to conduct yourselves in a manner conducive to our public face. As you recall there were former employees wearing our Brand found drinking alcohol in a local bar. This is unacceptable. Further, should you break wind while wearing company trousers and shirt; you are responsible for the impression that creates for us within the community. Similarly, behaviours in washrooms should meet our standards of professionalism. In no way do we want any bodily functions associated with our Brand. Please use discretion while wearing Company clothing. Lastly, I want to discuss social media. Many of our employees have indicated on their FB pages that they work here; anything they post is essentially a reflection of our Brand. Essentially, those employee FB pages are the property of the company. They no longer belong to you. The Marketing Department reads all postings and those identified employees have been reprimanded. As an an employee, you willingly give up your individual expression for the greater corporate culture and financial goals of our Brand. Unfortunately, these incidents have led to more conscientious corporate policing. At any time, should you be made aware of activities or behaviours you consider inappropriate, and not reflective of our Corporate Values, please contact your managing supervisor. I apologize for the directness of this memo and understand that there are innocent people amongst you. However, these episodes should serve as a lesson and give us a chance to consider our Corporate Values. Going forward please keep the Brand in mind and have a great weekend! Sincerely (name withheld for legal reasons) (More Cyberspace Artifacts HERE) (Check out the Urban Exploration Pics of this building HERE)
Sasquatch
Farley Mowat The Muslims Alcoholism (Ours...Well, Herr Doktor’s and another’s) The Canadian Prime Minister Lost in the Barrens The Christians UFOs Getting Laid Aging relatives The Jews Hog farming (and at some length, too) Coitus with a fat girl Wine Hutterite Dwarves Rex Murphy (ugh!) Flax Fires Proofreading East London Religious Turf wars Watching movies in a theatre vs. Watching them at home Loring AFB (USA) Canola Job Hunting Beer Blogs D.O.A. Nym’s work Herr Doktor’s Unemployment Bar Prices for Cheap Beers Planet of the Apes (Old vs. New) Architect Frank Gehry Roswell 1947 Allan Watts Beer Thee Silver Mt. Zion Memorial Orchestra A contemporary horror film whose title escapes me now that I am sober Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance The Current Holy Wars Smoking Seagull Shit Monica Lewinsky doing Bill More Beer Aboriginal Peoples The Pineal Gland Norfolk The new Godzilla movie That Fucking Museum in St. B. The Holy Quran Nym Productions Sasquatcheries Selkirk Ave. and LSD Monica Lewinsky doing Hillary (after the next presidential election) Weed Vending Machines Frank Gehry’s Spanish fiasco The increasing readership of this Blog Keeping the DSC momentum going The American architect who designed that Fucking Museum in St. B. Herr Doktor’s Note: Though by no means extensive, I believe this list to be a fair representation of what transpired in those few short hours together. Herr Doktor: The time for gentle weeping and sentimentality has arrived. Do you have tissues at hand or perhaps a glass of chardonnay, the wine of quiet joys and tender sorrows? The DSC, fueled by the usual assortment of intoxicants (and the resulting bravado) was motivated to work together for a common cause. Yes, I am referring to the enhancement of the Canadian experience. We believed that the Manitoba Spirited Energy campaign of a few years back could be bettered by a diverse group of disaffected, vaguely malcontented, drunken urbanites. Our readers should be pleased to know that Our efforts have not tapped the public coffers. Unlike Manitoba’s earlier public relations campaign, our impact on our beloved province and Mr. Harper’s Canada has been incalculable, forthright, and relentless. Absolutely relentless. We have redefined what it means to be verbose. We write like Lemmy plays his Rickenbacker. We do not intend to stop. Regular readers will be quick to notice the shifts in emphasis and diversity of topics we discuss. Winnipeg, of course, is our anchor, and Donald Street, that Promenade of Light, is at its heart. Teary yet? I propose the following: The DSC begins a campaign of fellowship, conviviality and mutual antagonism built around those who have embraced the spirit of our blog. Banners, social media, TV spots, varied sorts of printed materials, and related swag could all be used. Try this for a slogan: “The DSC: more than a blog, less than an event, maybe a movement”. Words can be powerful, eh? As we move forward, incautiously and expectantly, our plans develop and our goals change. Readers will be provoked, cajoled and humiliated but also constructively challenged and given to moments of reflection and insight. But these lofty ideals are not in mind when we submit our work for viewing. We want to share our interests with the public because, frankly, the DSC is sick of each other. So we look outwards and into our murky future, hazmat suits at the ready and keyboards within reach. At the DSC, tomorrow is never a better day; it is merely another day at work. Now, that is the Canadian experience. The Midtown Troll: It has been a great outlet, since being banned from many other discussion groups and online forums! The outlet that The DSC has provided is a nice way to get some biased commentary out there. Am particularly looking forward to covering the 2014 civic election. Thank Respondent & Terminate: All the work, skill and imagination that has resulted in the publishing of 100 DSC internet blog posts can only be considered, here in the second decade of the 21st Century, as a profoundly non-unique and run of the mill achievement. Although it does serve to reveal and communicate the varied yet related voices and visions contained within a small geographic location, i.e. Donald Street, at a particular temporal moment in the story of Humanity, ultimately it must be seen as a droplet of databytage in a massive flowing sea of cyberperspectives. So don't even think about it. Angry Downtownite: In the end, this post is for us...it is our celebration for actually achieving it. Yes, the goal of this entire blog is to share some random ideas from a bunch of downtown fuck ups, but its also to try and make you (and us) think. Playing the puppet is a dead game and the pressure is on each of us to take a stand or get walked over. So...when its 4am on a Friday and a drunk/completely stoned, crazy chick comes slamming on your door for an hour cause she thinks she lives there, but in actuality she has the wrong apartment ...sometimes...every so often, you have to open the door, grab her by the head and give her a solid toss against the wall...just to shake out some of the stupid so critical thinking can rise up to elucidate. So, happy fuckin' birthday. Nym: Its all about communication...with a heavy helping of creativity. The DSC has always been concerned with perspectives and exploring ideas, from the openness and warmth of the DSC meetings themselves to the blog that echoes those interactions. Thanks for sharing in our songs of downtown realities and enduring as we purge our minds with rants of social frustration. The DSC will continue to educate, illuminate and infuriate so stay tuned, there is plenty more coming; as the ideas grow, thrive and burst forward, to you. ( The Money Struggle Part 2 is Here) In our last post, I covered the creation of The Bank of England. Like any other privately owned corporation The Bank of England sold shares to get off the ground. However, conveniently enough, the names of the original investors has never been disclosed. These investors were supposed to pay £1.25M in coins, however as we already know tally sticks were used for some portion of the payment. Speaking of the payment, historically only £750,000 was ever received. Despite this, the bank was chartered in 1694. So what did the afmorentioned politicians receive for this great cost? The right to borrow as much of the new currency as they needed as long as they secured the debt through the collection of taxes. This is tantamount to legal counterfeiting for private gain. Ever major country in the world now has a privately owned central bank based on The Bank of England model. It is nothing more than a plutocracy-- rule by the rich. As is the nature of the central banks, they take total control over the society. Imagine putting the army in the hands of criminals and gangsters. Corruption would abound, totalitarianism would flourish. So back to my question from earlier, do we need central banks? Yes, we need central banks. No, they do not need to be in private hands. This scam is nothing more than a hidden tax. The government sells bonds to the central bank to get funds to pay for things it does not have the political capital to raise taxes for. However the bonds are paid for with money that the banks just create via accounting bookkeeping entries, thus the total amount of money in circulation goes up. The more money in circulation, the less valuable it becomes. The government “gets” the money it needs, and the people pay for it in inflation. The beauty of their plan is that most people can’t figure it out. They hide behind contrived economic jargon, which is confusing to most people. Shortly after the formation of the Bank, Great Britain found itself abound in money; the price of goods doubled, and massive loans were given out for any scheme, no matter how ridiculous. Ring a bell, anyone? One such proposal was to drain the Red Sea to recover gold and other artifacts lost by the Egyptians when Moses parted the Red Sea. Really!? I mean, really?! Government debt grew, and taxes were increased, and then increased again. With their grip now firm, the vile power-hungry magnates set to embark Great Britain on a serious of retractions of the and increases in the supply of money. The so-called business cycle would again wreak havoc. Central Banks claim they are determined to prevent such booms and depressions, but the reality is they are the creators of these. It would be one thing if these situations were created by mistake. It would be reassuring to have comfort in the reality of human error. However the sad truth of it is that these cycles are PURPOSELY created to rob the people of their wealth, property, and eventually their rights. But we’ll discuss the whole “rights” thing much later. For now, let’s just say that these psychopathic fear-loving, torturing, power-hungry demagogues artificially manufacture “bubbles” to deprive humanity of their dignity. Why? Because they are sick as fuck. In 1743 in Frankfurt, Germany, a gold smith named Amschel Moses Bauer opened up a coin shop. Over the door, he placed a symbol of a red shield and a Roman eagle. The shop would colloquially be known as “The Red Shield Firm” or Rothschild in German. Upon his passing, Bauer bequeathed his beloved firm to his son, Mayer Amschel Bauer, who changed his name to Rothschild. He soon learned that loaning money to the governments of the world was more profitable than loaning to private individuals. The loans were bigger and were secured by taxes. Rothschild had five sons, Amschel Mayer, Solomon, Nathan, Carl and Jacob. He trained them all in the “family business” and sent them to major capitals all over Europe. Amschel Mayer stayed in Frankfurt, Solomon was sent to Vienna, Carl went to Naples and Jacob went to Paris. His third son, Nathan, who was deemed to be the smartest went to London at only age 21. He would later become the governor of the Bank of England, approximately 100 years after its creation. One of Rothschild’s most lucrative dealings with royalty was at William’s Hall, which was the palace of the wealthiest monarch in all of Europe (Germany). Prince William of Hesse-Kassel. At first, their arrangement was regarding the speculation of precious coins, however, when Napoleon chased Prince William into exile he sent £550,000 to Nathan in London with explicit instructions to purchase British government stock, instead, Nathan used the funds for his own purposes. Nathan knew that with war drums beating the climate for profits was limitless. Prior to the Battle of Waterloo, William returned from his exile in 1815. He demanded to see Nathan and wanted his money back. Nathan returned the initial investment plus the interest that the British stock would have accumulated had he actually made that investment, however the Rothschild’s kept all the profits made from using William’s money. Nathan later bragged that while in England he increased his original purse by 2500 times. By co-operating within the family, the Rothschild’s easily became unbelievably wealthy. By the mid-1800’s they dominated all of European banking and rose to become the wealthiest family on earth. They were the financial backers of Cecil Rhodes, who established a monopoly over the gold and diamond mines of South Africa. In the U.S., they financed the Vanderbilt’s, Carnegie and many other industrial leaders. In fact during World War 1, financial mogul J.P. Morgan was thought to be the richest man in America, however it was only upon his death and the making public of his will, when it was revealed that in reality he was only a lieutenant of the Rothschilds. He only owned 19% of his own companies, the majority stakeholder were the Rothschilds. By 1850, James Rothschild, the heir to the French wing of the family was said to be worth 600 million French Franks, which is 150 million more than all of the other bankers in France put together. (Part 4 HERE) Captain Conspiracy There seems to to have been a fire on the 22nd Floor of 134 Smith St., giving downtownites a bit of excitement to break in the new warm(er) weather! Fire fighters amassed in force to stop the potential grease fire mishap that was contained within one suite. They worked fast to prevent the inferno from spreading to other living quarters within the apartment building. Don't worry, the Smith Food Mart is still open. We are committed to investigating this blaze and details will be posted as clues are analyzed. Stay Tuned to DSC News Bulletin Services for the truths behind the news! DSC News Bulletin Services (continued HERE) A few decades past, the Winnipeg Woodlot was an enclave for artists and the socially active or progressive. However, I am uncertain as to whether it is going to continue. Today as I look out my window, under the grey Manitoban sky, I am given to reflection because in these last five minutes I’ve seen a Cadillac Escalade, a BMW 700 series, and a Mercedes sports coupe. Normally, I do not associate these vehicles with sticking it to the Man. The Woodlot has a reputation as being a leftist hippie enclave, the well-intentioned granola belt and the site of the romance of the starving artist but the times they are a changin’.
The Woodlot has become a place of the well-heeled left. A cursory look at the prices of goods and services in the area confirms these suspicions. The local merchants are not catering to the lower income artists, writers and musicians (there are very few of those living here). Their clientele are the architects, business managers, lawyers and government bureaucrats (and their offspring) who now populate the area. House prices and rental rates are increasing just as they are downtown. Recently, a local apartment building was sold to a developer who intends to renovate the suites and double the rent. The former residents are given first dibs at renting but as the monthly rates will be beyond their means, they will move elsewhere. This has happened more than once these last few years. As the gentrification continues, the Woodlot has become the antithesis of its more recent past. It is turning back into the neighbourhood it was in the 1920s and 30s; a time when the place was less diversified. The future lies in the Woodlot’s past. Many college aged kids who work in this area and, perhaps, live here have taken on some of the values their parents once professed (before they went to school and sought stable middle-income jobs). These folks can be seen advertising their bands, riding bicycles built 40 or so years ago, encouraging attendance at a speaker’s event, and dressing as urban peasants. Perhaps they are destined to repeat their parent’s trajectories. I believe the hippie movement in Canada was a failed project as there were no plans formulated to move ahead once resistance to the mainstream was articulated. To make the transformation to live outside the context of the quest for capital and the accumulation of goods would require a significant shift in economic and political priorities. Convincing themselves and others of the viability was never on the agenda. Maybe there was never an agenda. So, they grew their hair, wore sandals, strummed guitars, wrote poetry and yearned for a different world. The Winnipeg Woodlot was never a social experiment or alternative model of how to live a life of resistance. It was a stodgy neighbourhood whose inhabitants vacated to the suburbs after the war and left these large homes which could be remodeled into multiple rental units. Economics led the young and artistic here and economics again is driving them out. We have come full circle. We witnessed a transitory moment. Just like this lament. (Check out Tales from the Woodlot Part 2) (Check out Tales from the Woodlot Part 4) Herr Doktor As of the time of writing, there are four individuals who have officially entered the 2014 Winnipeg mayoral race. Here are some trollish initial questions and impressions of those candidates. Where On The Spectrum Is Gord Steeves Today? Former councilor Gord Steeves: is he left, centre, or right? Seems that where he sits is ever-changing, based on What Is Best For Gord Today. During Glen Murray’s time as mayor, I recall Gord touting the same lines as (then) NDP Glen. He enthusiastically sat in Murray’s inner circle (the Executive Policy Committee) and was a staunch defender of His Worship. Fast forward to when Sam Katz became mayor, and lo and behold, there was Gord, parroting Katz’s lines and defending his policy. Even if it was 180-degrees opposite of what he supported under Murray (e.g., the bus rapid transit phase 1 fiasco). Before being elected to city council, he ran for MLA as a provincial Liberal (and lost), then he joined PC Manitoba and ran for MLA under that banner (and lost). The second time he ran for MLA in 2011, he earlier (had to) vacate his city council seat. Hence, he has not held elected office since that time… as such, he may also attempt to brand himself as ‘an outsider.’ Good luck with that, Gord. By last indication, Gord Steeves is right of centre. But that may change as the race unfolds (move to the left if the right gets too crowded). A likely post-election lesson for Gord will be: if you try to be everything to everyone, you will fail at being acceptable to most anyone! Who in the Hell is Brian Bowman? That is the question that will be on most people’s mind the past few days, that is, if you are not plugged into the local ‘Twitterverse.’ Oh, Brian Bowman is Big On Twitter in Winnipeg. This is likely why he got a whole lotta media coverage in the past few days as he launched his campaign… a disproportionate amount of coverage for a privacy lawyer who has never held elected office before and only served on some local boards of directors. As most of the local Winnipeg media is plugged into Twitter, they lose sight of the fact that Bowman isn’t a recognized name outside of Twitter given all the 140-character footsie they’ve been playing with each other over the past few years. Thus far, Brian Bowman has been yapping the typical lines for a younger ‘outsider,’ about being a ‘non-politician,’ the need for a ‘new generation,’ to ‘move forward’ and his having so much ‘vision.’ Meaningless political speak. Really, he puts out such empty blather with ease as he really is not new to politics, having apparently been close to running for the PC Manitoba leadership recently, and leading the PC Manitoba youth wing in his younger days. Regardless, if you run as a candidate for office, you’re a politician! (I believe that Sammy is still referring to himself as a non-politician after all these years, what nonsense!) Brian Bowman is also like a politician in that he is more than willing to use his young family as a political prop. When he rolled out his wife and sons, it was during a school day morning. Poor kids, Daddy puts his ambitions first. Yeah, he isn’t a politician! There will likely be a good deal of vote splitting on the centre and centre-right of the spectrum. There is probably a right-leaning councilor or two who will also run for mayor, in addition to Gord Steeves (if he is currently right, that is). As such, Bowman probably doesn’t stand much of a chance. Though he may try to marshal his Twitter appeal and pander to local hipsters… in other words make platitudes of opening Portage & Main to pedestrians and take photo-ops sipping java in Parlour Coffee (a strategy that would come at the expense of many other potential voters, particularly those in the ‘burbs). A likely post-election lesson for Brian will be: don’t judge your popularity by your number of Twitter followers! (For more on Bowman, see The Black Rod) What’s Up With The Two Other Guys? Mayoral races always attract some eccentric individuals who clearly do not have a chance (or much campaign funds), but think they have a shot given the mindset of “I have such good and big ideas that people will listen and see things my way!” So far, in this category, we have funeral home owner Mike Vogiatzakis and blogger Gordon Warren. Mike Vogiatzakis has a shady history with two criminal convictions, one of which was for assault. He also does not live in Winnipeg, so there’s that as a bit of an issue for him to overcome. Owns some property here (the funeral home?), so it turns out he is allowed to run. Would likely be Winnipeg’s Rob Ford if elected. Also would half expect if, as mayor, he put forward policies that may endanger the lives of Winnipeggers... cut down ambulance service, for instance… would be good for business as a funeral home owner! It certainly isn’t unusual for a Winnipeg mayor to work first and foremost in the best interests of their privately held business(es). That’s why these outsider business owners run in the first place. Gordon Warren has been accused of being anti-Semitic more than once. While the basis of these accusations does not constitute an actual hate crime, some of his postings are nonetheless rather controversial and unbecoming of someone who wants to lead the city. I’ll save the whole argument about real hate crimes versus ‘the right to not be offended’ for another day, or this post will get way too long. Either way, Gordon Warren is a blogger, and as we all know, bloggers are crazy and angry people who reside in dark rooms and get off on getting you upset. Being a blogger in itself is his ultimate disgrace and discredit! ***** Be sure to check back in on The Donald Street Collective for continuing and biased coverage of the 2014 Winnipeg election! The Midtown Troll After numerous delays and funding fiasco’s, The Canadian Museum of Human Rights in Winnipeg is slated to open September 2014. The dream of one of Winnipeg’s biggest business/philanthropist icons, Israel Asper, and carried on by his widow, this museum is prepared to enthral and collect. Enthral in its portrayal of atrocities and human horrors, collect in the sense that this is a money making venture. Asper was first and foremost a business tycoon. His family legacy is to continue making the loot, for the betterment of all Winnipeggers. In theory, the more money the Asper’s make, the better it is because they contribute to Winnipeg institutions and corporate showcases. Under all the propaganda and hype this is a museum that will be portraying the worst parts of humanity (with little sparks of “survival”) to you, for a price. T-Shirts and picture books will be sold, little pins will be worn, schools will pay annual fees to take kids to the showcases of suffering and speeches will be made about how vital this eyesore piece of shit is to Winnipeg. The ones who stand to gain the most are the investors and those that want you to spend, spend, spend. The Forks will have increased traffic, the skatepark will thrive and the statue of Ghandi will look on in disbelief as money, torture and death jump into bed together. So go, give your money to the Asper Foundation and the promotion of hypocrisy. Hypocrisy because all the money it took to build this fucking insult could have avoided some human rights violations happening right now in our own back yards. While education is important, so is insight and criticality. Don’t be tricked into thinking this Museum has any agenda other than earning cash from you and getting Asper’s accomplishments firmly mentioned in some mundane textbook. And...just in case you didn’t know who you should “bow” down to, the city has changed the stretch of street in front of the Museum of Ego to “Israel Asper Way”. Choke on that as you eat your kosher hotdog before walking into the big, church-like vessel, pretending the Palestinians are clearly the aggressors and never the victims. (Check out the DCS's recent update on this) Angry Downtownite As the 2014 Canadian Football League season nears, we have been seeing some mentions of a possible strike. The CFL Players’ Association (CFLPA) is to vote on a new collective bargaining agreement (CBA) before the start of the 2014 season as the current CBA expires on May 30th. Much of the rhetoric from the CFLPA involves their wanting revenue sharing back, something they gave up in the last CBA. The CFLPA made a critical negotiation error last time of giving up something that they may want back some day down the road. They argue that as the league has since signed a new and greater broadcasting agreement with TSN, revenue sharing should return. There’s also some token blather about player safety and a maximum number of days they have to practice in full padding (really, is practicing in their equipment a problem for a delicate little pro-athletes?). And, of course, they say if their demand are not met, they’ll strike. Blah blah blah… in essence that’s the publicly aired stance from the CFLPA. And really, pay no attention to it… there most certainly will not be a strike in the CFL to start this season. The CFL is a cute little football league in Canada with most of the revenue coming from the gate and stadium concessions. With the exception of Saskatchewan (where there is a general lack of notable entertainment given the small sizes of its cities/towns so people become obsessed with the Roughriders), football is only #2 or #3 in popularity in Canada depending on the region. Should there be a strike, an overwhelming majority of Canadians – even those who attend several CFL games a year (such as Yours Truly) – will collectively shrug their shoulders. Most CFL fans are rather passive in their fandemonium. They will not be assembling into mobs with torches and pitchforks, screaming at the owners to give the players what they want. The CFLPA’s support is essentially lacking, and they will not win the battle of public (fan) opinion. However, the main reason why there will not be a CFL strike is that most all the players will vote to ratify whatever CBA is put before them, no matter how one-sided it is towards the owners. Consider the typical American player who is playing in the CFL. Now too old for college ball, he either was not good enough to so much as crack a practice roster of an NFL team, or he had an extremely brief stint in the NFL, got cut, no other NFL team wants him, so he’s up here in Canada to make a few bucks. Probably never really gave a thought (or even heard of) the CFL until his agent told him. For someone who considers themselves an athlete, playing a few more years of football beats selling stereos in Best Buy or throwing tires around in a scrap yard in Arkansas. If he is lucky, he will have maybe three years to make some money here in Canada before he’s done. And on the matter of making a few bucks in Canada before it is all over for his pro-football career, relatively speaking, it is not huge bucks either. The average CFL player salary is about $80,000. That’s Canadian dollars, so for those American players who live ‘down south,’ it becomes relatively less. While $80k a year is certainly good money, if that was your annual income and then you had to suddenly go a year without making any money, it would be financially difficult and one would likely have to get that job at the junk yard or wherever. And let us not forget, many of these players have young children and expensive hobbies to support. The NHL players were able to easily strike… if you made a million (or more likely, millions) of dollars in 2012, you could comfortably spend 2013 on golf courses and lounging at the side of pools without needing a new income source. In short, the CFL players have a choice: sign on the dotted line for a CBA that is favourable to the owners, make a decent income and extend their pro career by a year or two, or get those resumes ready as McDonalds is always hiring! The Midtown Troll I dislike obnoxious, obstreperous, boisterous, and vociferous people. They think they have to spew every thought that invades their small minds in a loud, forceful way. God pity the poor slobs who marry these chirping chickens. It usually is women for some reason who are the big yappers. These hens seem to think they can eject any superficial nonsense without a second thought. You will also notice that yappy people can't stay focused on a single subject for longer than 20-30 seconds. Their minds are impulsive and pinball like. An example: a person is having a conversation with them about the death of an older acquaintance and will say, "she was old, 94, but she still had most of her mind intact." The yapper will absorb that thought for .4 seconds and retort with this: "that reminds me, I stepped on a tack the other day and thought I was going to have my foot amputated." Their minds are bouncing around like a frantic weasel on acid.To keep their babbling effective they also talk very loudly. The windstorm of poppycock flowing from their bionic beaks must be drilled into their cornered quarry. These people should all be tied up, forced into swimwear and physically thrown into those 1980's isolation water tanks. Let them float in there until their chaotic internal dialogue drives them to the razor thin edge of the abyss of insanity! Below is one of my neighbours. Every time I walk down the hallway to the elevator I hear this Yapper. Not sure if she is on the phone, has passive company or is babbling to herself. But she is loud. Chinese is being spoken most of the time. Zen Yetimoto Let’s explore the seal hunt a little bit.
In Canada we see over 5 million harp seals that migrate around the cool waters of our east coast. Swimming, bobbing and eating their way through the Atlantic as they glide towards the ice flows within and around the Gulf of St. Lawrence, on a mission to birth their young. 12 to 15 days after releasing a white furry bundle of fat, the mother fucks off. Her job is done and the little seal pup will float around on the ice until it gets the courage to dive into the water and begin its own journey. Polar bears and whales dine on these floating meals, encouraged by the ease of accessibility. These plump, helpless targets present a resource that can be mined for meat, fur and oils. If you have ever been into this area of Canada you are well aware how desolate, and seemingly devoid of options the environment can seem to contain, but when the seals cull on the ice, there is a situation presented by nature that has long been a sustaining force in Northern areas and communities. The harp seal, which is not in danger of extinction and actually not even close to being a threatened species, will continue to migrate, following dwindling cod stocks through the waters. Their numbers are far more dependant on the effects of fishing industries on their own food supplies and while we continue to over fish the oceans, animals like the harp seal will decline accordingly. The current federally regulated Canadian seal hunt that takes place from November until May is not causing the harp seal population to be irreversibly decimated. What is in decline is the ability for Northern Canadian communities to sustain themselves and maintain in the North. What they need is assistance building new, strong housing and the creation of permanent infrastructure. Many Northern Peoples live in shanty shit houses. Scraped together from abandon research facilities and what random supplies make their way up to them. These are a strong people that battle the environment every single day and adapt as mother nature takes a big dump on their heads. These communities are small and can be difficult to even find on a map, but they house people that have adapted to the specific concerns the North presents. The struggles they face constantly challenge them to remain in their ancestral lands or move to warmer, southern economic centres just to survive. These people would love to have some help if your handing it out Sir Paul. The harp seals are abundant, the people in the north are endangered. While movie flakes and music clowns shake their PR chains by denouncing the seal hunt and announcing they are “fighting” for the poor helpless pups, what are they doing to help the thousands of people in desolate areas that participate and benefit from the hunt. These people do what it takes to continue existing and many of these communities have gained sustenance from seals for thousands of years. While their existence isn’t solely reliant on seals, it is one component in a very delicate balance that they have found between life and death. Go ahead, criticize the hunt, make the push to get yourself in the news, but also consider those left behind in your wake of misinformation and misguided self promotion. So here’s a message to all the bleeding heart hypocrites that pretend to know…You wanna help? Help those in danger. Help those in Northern Canada that are battling severe abuse problems in their communities because the youth feel they have no future. Go help the poverty stricken reserves in the Canadian North that not only have an identity crisis but health concerns that are destroying their people. The harp seal is fine….it will still have a swimmingly good time in the ocean and continue doing its thing, despite the seal hunts. Get your head out of your pompous ass and go to Northern Canada to see the real struggles then decide where to focus your PR machine shit. In ’78, the great oceanographer Jacques Coustea stated, "We have to be logical. We have to aim our activity first to the endangered species. Those who are moved by the plight of the harp seal could also be moved by the plight of the pig – the way they are slaughtered is horrible." Make the effort, understand the challenges and really give your energy to a substantial cause not a hollywood campaign. Are you in Winnipeg and surrounding areas? If you are then do you know of the S.H.E.D.? This is the city’s attempt at rejuvenating the downtown experience and stimulating commerce in the core. The full schtick is “ Sports, Hospitality & Entertainment District” just so y’know. The area encompassed within the SHED includes the Convention Centre, MTS Centre, the glossed up Met, Burton Gambler's Theatre, the RWB and the Millennium Library. This area is from now and forever more to be known as the thriving SHED (as per your city)! Are you excited? Does this make you want to spend the afternoon with the family in downtown Winnipeg? If so, please peruse this factual story first, then decide. Regardless, the facts remain consistent with the past. Winnipeggers generally avoid downtown unless they live there, work there, have a Dr’s appointment there, go to MTS or are forced to meet a friend at some SHED location to dine….otherwise…cut the bullshit…no one comes downtown of their own free will. The city has faith in you though. They feel that you will want to indulge in all the SHED has to offer from Casino’s (Shark Club) to a fancy pants reno'd MET to the safe bubble of Cop Shop HQ in the old Canada Post building. What the city also has faith in is that the common elements of downtown Winnipeg can be hidden, pushed away or at the least, kept at bay. The city hopes the commotions orbiting the Giant Tiger and other discount dumpsters around Portage can be ignored and heel clicked away. Good Luck with that. The city is relying on a common trait of most interlopers to downtown Winnipeg; put your head in the sand and pretend the socio-economic realities of Winnipeg are gone! So let’s unite fellow Winnipeggers, let’s love the SHED and congregate by the big shitty sculpture in the Millennium Library skate park while we ignore the realities of urban dynamics scurrying in the shadows cast by big, pretentious circular screens and cab headlights. Come, let us spend our money on making Winnipeg a vibrant and energized metropolis! Oh…you’re busy? Not interested? Going to a BBQ by the Perimeter…oh well…at least the city tried. Angry Downtownite Boston Pizza in Shittyplace has at times been a meeting place for The DSC, as it is considered Not The Worst Place To Drink in downtown Winnipeg. That said, there are an awfully lot of bad places to grab a beer, so it is a ‘lesser of evils’ type of selection. Want a good beer on tap? Too bad, so sad for you. Boston Pizza only serves generic pisswater beer on tap. Even their bottle selection is lacking. Want a bite to eat? The food is decent for what it is. Nothing to write home about, it is obviously just frozen stuff the ‘chef’ heated up. Music can help to bring about a decent atmosphere. Unfortunately, at Boston Pizza the waitresses only play what they want to hear. Get ready for horrible pop music of today: Beiber, Katy Perry, Smiley Virus, et al, will be played in regular rotation and far too loud. If this is supposed to be a sports bar, perhaps something more appropriate such as classic rock? Nope, you’re out of luck. Regulars include annoying ‘bros’ and vagrants. Boston Pizza still hasn’t clued in that if they operate a bar in downtown Winnipeg, at least one employee who is (or can effectively double as) a security guard would be a fine idea. The waitresses aren’t equipped to be hauling out backwards-hat-wearing drunken bros puking on themselves, or nasty vagrants with already-puke-coated-clothing stumbling in and trying to bum smokes from patrons. One of the few advantages is the multiple TVs for watching a sporting event. That said, too many times the serving staff have mucked up the audio/visual experience. If your bar has, say, 25 televisions, and 24 are displaying The Big Game, then perhaps don’t base the bar’s audio source on the one lone TV that is showing golf. As well, if some of the TVs that are broadcasting The Big Game are set to non-HD, and others to HD, the slight time lag becomes a nuisance. Complaining to waitresses generates no solutions, you must wait however long it takes for a manager to arrive on the scene to fix these issues. It is a well known fact that Daddy Issues and attention-seeking can be a severe affliction for many young women today. It has also created a nuisance at places such as Boston Pizza… For example, one time, Yours Truly was having a drink with some of the members of the DSC and all of our drinks were empty and had been for some time. The bar was also nearly empty, and there was our waitress, looking bored and blankly staring at the floor. Tried to get her attention to no avail. What did she do instead? She suddenly looked up towards the ceiling, held up her phone as high as her arm would reach and pointed it down towards herself, thrust out her chest, and made a ‘duck face.’ With the flash of her phone’s camera, a selfie was shot. She then quickly toyed around with her phone (no doubt uploading to Facebook with the text “like OMG, I’m like so totally at work right now LOL!”), and then immediately went back to looking bored. Alas, one of us eventually had to approach her to get another round ordered. And just like any other such bar frequented by bros, the waitresses fully engage in flirting for tips. Quite annoying when done following subpar service, and usually at its peak when paying the bill. Some sad guys fall victim to this (remember that South Park episode with the restaurant Raisins?) and think “wow, she likes me, she must really really like me! I’ll tip her real good and maybe she’ll come home with me!” so it is a strategy many servers employ and Boston Pizza is no different. Fake-flirting when bringing the bills to counter subpar service… are you surprised? It’s less effort on their part than being attentive to their tables’ food and drink situation. Again, a sad state for downtown Winnipeg if Boston Pizza is one of the lesser annoying places to go for a beer. The Midtown Troll Several years ago I was laid off from a comfortable job with a then well-established company within Winnipeg. “Laid-off” was the term my former employer used. I had been there nearly 10 years. Closer to reality, I was fired. Usually when one is laid-off, you are called back once more work is on the way. However, my portfolio of accounts at the time was significant and I had several projects on the go. The department to which I belonged decided to control their operational costs by reorganizing. My Boss and his Boss were also let go. It was decided initially that all workers who were managing accounts remotely (that is from our Winnipeg office) were to be released and the work would be distributed to those who remained. In all, forty people over the course of a couple of weeks, all from my division, were released from their employment. As part of my severance package I participated in a weekly career and job search seminar. One of the activities used to breed familiarity amongst our diverse but downtrodden group was to guess other’s professions. Our success rate was poor but it did prompt laughter and lively discussion. However, there was one exception that we scored with a near 90% accuracy. Most of us guessed who the customer service professional was. He had purple and brown circles under his eyes which bore a weariness that made him appear significantly older than his 45yrs. He was dishevelled but well spoken. Now, we could attribute his look to his then current circumstances but given that we were all in a similar situation, we understood the toll his profession had taken on him over the years. At that point in my job experience I had only limited exposure to customer service work. That is no longer the case. I feel his pain. Many of you out there probably do, as well. Working on the telephone can be rewarding for some but it is very difficult work. Customer service reps eat shit for a living. As a representative of the company or account, you are expected to maintain a “professional” demeanor, especially in the face of adversity. To add to your stress levels, your performance is constantly monitored, measured, evaluated, tweaked, coached and judged. At times the representative can feel very alone. Angry customers are just part of the equation. Senior management, often unaware of the experience of the customer service rep, make strategic decisions which may look good for a client but can wreak havoc on the folks speaking to the customers. The calls can be relentless. One after the other they flood the ear, followed by more, and then some. It is a virtual torrent of ups downs and performance anxiety. The reps are expected to maintain a vast reservoir of knowledge as there are updates sent if not hourly, then certainly daily. Resolution databases can be poorly maintained, out of date, or worse, suffer bandwidth issues. Try looking up a solution when there is an angry customer on hold and the page will no load. The responsibilities of our beaten representative grow and the rate of pay remains the same. Are you ready for a stroke? Perhaps a heart attack? Good luck with your application for stress leave. When one works in customer service, your disdain for the Canadian public can grow exponentially. But please take comfort, go to the local grocery or department store and look at the folks behind the customer service counter. Now, that is stress. Think about how you should to speak to these folks before you call. That would help us all. Herr Doktor (Continued from HERE) 1. Herr Doktor sees value in goods in terms of their price (the more costly the object, the more value he ascribes to it). We suspect that Herr Doktor may be both a frothing- at-the-mouth capitalist and object fetishist. 2. Herr Doktor extols the virtues and norms of private sector work over the rational, technocratic and hyper-bureaucratic environment of say, government work (which the DSC holds in high regard). 3. Herr Doktor does not reside on or near Donald Street. A sub-committee has been formed to further investigate how it was that he became a full-fledged member of the DSC. 4. Herr Doktor is an immigrant. The DSC believes that this is worth repeating. 5. Herr Doktor is not modest about his book learning and his prose reeks of bourgeois pretensions. 6. Herr Doktor has been overheard extolling the virtues of the Canadian beaver. The DSC will not tolerate this romanticized version of the Canadian hinterland. Disciplinary action may be warranted if this persists. 7. Herr Doktor has little tolerance for folk music. This is a serious affront to Winnipeggers. 8. Herr Doktor does not contribute to DSC conversations about local and national politics. The DSC believes he should. See #4 above. 9. Herr Doktor will be fined the costs of this Ad Hoc meeting. 10. The DSC has learned through sources that Herr Doktor might possess an autographed photo of the current Canadian Prime Minister. (the debate continues HERE) Herr Doktor |
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